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It should be read as you would read a “self-help” book.For professional and customized advice, you should seek the services of a counselor, who can become more intimately familiar with your specific situation.Alternatively, it may become clear that the marriage cannot continue—in this case therapy may help you part with less rancor, so that the good memories of your relationship can survive.This is especially important if you have children, but even if you don’t you will part more completely if you’re not bound to each other with rage, which can act like glue and prevent you from moving on with your life.

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I feel embarrassed that my answer is so much longer than the question, and I ask for patience; this is a painful and difficult experience. I wonder how long you have been married, if you have children, and if there have been other instances of betrayal that may not be confined to the sexual area. I worry that you and your spouse are not partners, but adversaries, and maybe have been for a long time. You say you “get snarky.” Are snarky remarks a way to gradually let off the anger, preventing a full-fledged rage response? All these methods work; try them all or the ones you like best.You can find him on Facebook, Twitter, and Google .Trisha enjoyed hot sauna and then called the masseur.He is also a writer and blogs regularly about the redemption of our personal, relational, and communal lives.Kelly is married, has three children, and enjoys learning from them how to be a kid again.

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